Holidays designated to celebrate relationships often have a way of magnifying their absence for those not in one.

Valentine's Day, in particular, can be challenging because the implied message is that validation of being lovable comes through someone else's expression of love for you.

Whether you're single (or in a relationship) and feeling unloved because someone else isn't demonstrating their love or affection, I invite you to challenge the assumption of what defines "lovable" and free yourself in the process.

You get to decide if you want to be lovable - and loving - to yourself. If your mental programming has you believing otherwise, you can change it.  If you've treated yourself poorly or allowed others to do so, you can change it. 

Here are my top 4 recommendations for how to nurture yourself to help cultivate healthy Self-love and be your own Valentine all year round:

Sit in your favorite cozy place so that you can feel the cushions against your back and your body securely supported. Now close your eyes and think of someone or a pet you adore. With your eyes closed, allow yourself to wrap your arms around yourself with the same loving intention you would have holding that person or pet. With each of several breaths, allow yourself to relax deeper into the hug, paying attention to how good it feels to simply hold yourself. Feel your body releasing its tension and sinking more into the cushions as it feels the love coming through your embrace. Feel the simple peace in this. Be aware of any inner critic mind chatter. If it starts, simply tell it to be quiet and instead mentally repeat: "It feels good to be loving to myself". Pay attention and note how your body/mind responds to the shift in message.

If you've been wanting someone else to appreciate you, appreciate yourself. Make a list of the qualities you like about yourself and put it up somewhere you see it every day. If you've been wanting to go out on a date, take yourself out on one. Enjoy something you love that you've been holding off doing until you had someone to do it with. Feel how good it feels to treat yourself in a kind and loving way right now.

Sleep in until you wake up, make yourself a nourishing, favorite meal you usually reserve for company, spend a few hours in nature or listening to music that makes you happy.

Whether you focus for five minutes or five hours, learning to quiet your body/mind and connect with your true Self gives you the joyful feeling of mental peace, quiet contentment, and access to the infinite wisdom and power that is available to each of us.

With every loving thought, feeling or action you do for yourself, you start to shift the tide from determining your lovability based on what you do or don't get from others, to what you choose to give to yourself. And because healthy, loving, thoughts, feelings, and actions strengthen the true essence of Self, the internal spring of happiness and peace starts bubbling up from within because what you truly are at the core of your being IS love.

Happy Valentine's Day.



With love,

Kathleen

My mission with this blog is to provide information that supports holistic pain relief and self-care that encompasses all of who you are - body, mind, and Spirit.

About the Author: Kathleen Gramzay

Kathleen Gramzay, BCTMB is Body/Mind Performance Expert, 20-yr Board Certified Massage Therapist, and Developer of Kinessage® Self Care and Mindful Resilience. Her mission is to empower people to release their stress, chronic tension & pain to live more joyful, productive and healthy lives.  If you would like to learn more about Kinessage® Self-Care or the Mindful Resilience programs, contact Kathleen